When posed the same question I paused for a substantial amount of time before telling her that I think I'm too young to have a soul mate. I told her she was much older than I am (much to her chagrin) and perhaps found herself in a better position to hand pick the different people that made a warm and lasting impact upon her life. When I think of soul mates I think of something eternal and mystic, and the world around me diminishes this sense of wonder as I am presented with many notions of fast-track or 'shotgun soulmateism'. Some of my favorite include:
1) She likes the Smiths. You like the Smiths. You think that dying by her side would be the most heavenly way to die. Soul mates.
2) He likes Japanese food - more importantly he likes unagi on a bed of cold soba, your own personal favorite. Also, he is into Murakami but unlike most people his novel of choice is Hear the Wind Sing, which he considers the writer's magnum opus. That last part was really the deal breaker. Soul mates.
3) You are an architect and she is a writer. You spend your days having conversations about the impact of transgressive art upon society and the psychological effects of space allocation in cities. Within these conversations you create a bubble which is impermeable by the transient whims of an under-cultured world. No one will ever be as cool as the both of you right? Soul mates.
Within these common notions of soulmateism I fail to see anything which could be eternal and instead find that lonely people will always gravitate to one another when they see bits of themselves reflected in another person. What is left behind is not some cosmically important convergence of souls but instead a dependency which is rooted deep in personal inadequacy.
Perhaps I am young, or it may be the fact that I've always fancied myself as a bit of a dreamer but I do not fully agree with Wilde's claim that you taint what you love. I think that there is no fast-track to soulmateism, you do not become soul mates through a shared cultural affinity nor do you become soul mates because you share a host of traits and dreams too important to be dismissed. There are far too many compatible people in this all too vast world to be considered for importance. The road to finding your soul mate is a process, and one that you have to be painfully patient with. Soulmateism in my opinion is something which is gradual, born into infancy, and like all infants must be taught and nurtured. You only kill the thing you love if you are careless, and if you are careless could it be said that you ever loved at all? Just to reiterate the fact (and perhaps to squeeze out another drop of self-serving comfort), I am young and I have much to learn about the world and people. We have our whole lives to be important to each other. Why stop here?
