dear catastrophe waitress

These events are not in chronological order for the neurons in my brain fire randomly triggering disparate and mostly incoherent memories that fade and dilute unless written down:

Upon arriving, I think it was at the Harbor Front Center if I'm not mistaken, I see a French woman(at least I think she's French, I'll never know) leaning against a rail, reading a book. I remember thinking that I wouldn't mind reading my entire trip away.

I'm going to switch to a stream of consciousness now although all events have happened in retrospect: I find myself in a cab heading for the hotel I'm going to spend the next five or so nights in. It's pouring outside and the seventeen minute journey takes place in silence. At one point, the cab stops at a red and the rain falls rhythmically on the dashboard merging all the colors from the different lights outside into one softly luminous blur. I almost dissipate here but the car lurches forward jolting me out of my self indulgence.

A woman smokes a cigarette a few benches ahead of me. The morning air is cool and breezy on my face. An Auster lies open on my lap. I'm supposed to be reading but I realize that I'm completely content doing nothing.

"In my head there's a greyhound station, where I send my thoughts to far off destinations."

I'm walking around a strange city when suddenly you come up to me and say: Stand up straight at the foot of your love, I lift my shirt up. I'm taken aback for a second before saying: If you keep a record of our failures then I will document our love. At least I imagine the scene being played out but in reality nothing happens and I just keep walking.

"Shakedown 1979, cool kids never have the time."

The lyric which keeps looping as I'm surrounded by the crisscrossing of different and completely foreign lives: Stay Inside Till Somebody Finds Us, Do Whatever The TV Tells Us, Stay Inside Our Rosy Minded Fuzz.

Suddenly the day goes numb as all the freeways and buildings blend and shade into one another and through this obscure and unfocused mess of thoughts and sounds and images I realize I'm leaving.